Letters to ... inspirational young women

~ I don’t quite know how I should begin this letter because this is part of why I am where I am right now. 

About four years ago I first came across a video of these girls. Partly because I still had the idea of an exchange year in the US on my mind. So I wanted to know how life in the States is like. But what I’ve learned is so much more than cultural differences. :)

Luck had it that I came across someone my age who was, despite living on the other side of the world, like me. Shy but still passionate about things. And above all, motivated to do well in school/focused on education. Believe me I admire everyone who has this kind of inner drive to do well. ~

Dear Alex and Sabrina, 

Thank you for being exactly who you are. And not afraid to show that to the sometimes scary world of the internet. When I first found your channels I watched your videos on and off for a while. About two years ago I came across your vlogmas videos. They were so motivational and exactly what I needed since December was usually one of the busiest months of the school year. You motivated me every day to keep studying and that it was not only worth it but actually possible. I’ve never been someone who just gave up but school sometimes throws so many rocks on your way to your future that it changes into mountains. I can’t thank you enough for your choice to care so much about your education. Even when you’re just talking about studying.

Honestly, I would not be where I am right now hadn’t I come across your videos. Literally.  Because I’m writing this in my University library.  ;) 

I’m in my first semester since October. And for this Bachelor-degree course only about 50 people got accepted. I doubt that this would have been possible hadn’t you decided to talk about your everyday school duties. 

Both of you are such amazing role models. And I hope that others especially young girls will find your videos in case they’ve lost their motivation.

I wish you all the best. In your academic and private life.

And as much motivation as you have given and are still giving me.

I hope you have a great week. 

Greetings from Europe.   

Have you made someone smile today?

<< The logical consequence is that good things come back to you if you surround yourself with positive people and have a positive attitude towards life.>>

I think that in our society we expect others to come up to us and start a conversation or compliment us. Especially on social media. Either as a comment under a picture or a random act of kindness like a reassuring message after a confused/sad post/tweet.

Yet, most people only expect others to act that way. It takes only a few seconds to give someone your smile or a compliment. As we spend so much time online we should transfer this behaviour their as well.

People have lost their balance between what they want to receive and what they are willing to give.

I thought about how I could change the situation and bring more positiveness to my own life. The first thought was to make a #Hashtag on twitter out of this. But then I realised that that is part of the Problem because I probably had the thought about how such a project could affect me in the back of my mind. Which makes me part of the problem.

You don’t need a reason to be kind to people. No Hashtag. No special occasion. No pretty picture.

A few words can make a difference. Make someone smile today.

 

Life crisis

I’m probably at my lowest right now. I don’t know what to do with my life. Yet, I start to go to university in October and study something I don’t see a future in. I don’t know what to major in. All I know is that once I’m done with my education I want to live in an English speaking country and work there. I constantly get the question what I will be after my bachelor degree. Having to answer that there is no real title for what I’ll be is tiring. I’m just lost. I’ve worked so hard to be where I am right now and I don’t know what to do with everything I’ve achieved so far. I finally want to be happy again.

A few months ago I gave myself 1 year to figure everything out. To figure out what I want to study and in which direction my life should go. But right now, this one year timeframe seems way too long.

I need to stop comparing myself to others.

I always knew what the next step was. But right now it seems like every step I take is waste of time.

I honestly don’t know how it feels like being content with my life. Everyone seems to have their life together except for me.

Thank you!

This goes out to everyone who dedicated their life to help others. Thank you.

Thanks to doctors. Thanks, that you try to improve the life of others despite the high pressure this job involves; that you keep going even when you’ve given everything you’ve got.

Thanks to nurses. Thanks that you’ve chosen your job despite it being not only physical and psychical demanding but also underpaid in most countries. Thanks especially to those nurses who manage to still have a smile on their face at the end of their shift. I don’t know how you do that.

Thanks to every lifeguard and lifesaver. Thanks that you have an eye on swimmers even when they don’t notice it until they get into trouble. Thanks for the saved lives and second chances you’ve given.

Thanks to rescue workers. Thanks for keeping a cool head in desperate situations.

Thanks to psychologists. Thanks that you make lives worth living again when one has already given up and that you help your patients find their light switch in their darkest place.

Thanks to lawyers. The ones who actually help people. Thanks that you know what you do when the rest of us is overwhelmed with a situation.

Thanks to vets. Thanks, that you understand our companions through life when the owner is clueless.

Last but not least: Thanks to every volunteer out there. Thanks to you for finding the energy to do something good after a stressful day/week. Thank you to everyone who works in non-profit organisations, who’s on the other side of a helpline or who travels to third world countries to help others.

Getting along with yourself / Mental health

You don’t need to be liked or be friends with everybody. People will move in and out of your life the only constant Is you. So make sure that you get along with yourself. Start now. Make sure you’re able to be alone. No boyfriend. No girlfriend. No friends. Just you. Try it.

 

If you find yourself struggling with a situation find a way of relieving that stress you’re in. Sometimes a rant or conversation with friends is all it takes to get out of a not so bright spot. Or write your feelings down. Burn that paper, rip it apart or keep it. Do anything that makes you feel better as long as no one, including yourself, gets hurt. Take a hot shower or bath, make your bed, go for a walk.

 

But sometimes no one of the things listed above are able to help you get out of a dark numbing place. Sometimes you can’t help yourself anymore and that’s when people whose job it is to help others are necessary. There is no reason to feel embarrassed about your emotions. You can feel them therefore they are real. Look at it like a broken bone. You can feel the pain yet it may not be visible from the outside at the first glance.

Don’t seek a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

Reach out to someone. I know you can get through this. Why? Because I think that most people have a point in their lives when it only can get better. Don’t miss your chance. Please.

Here are some Websites you could have a look at:

7cupsoftea: An anonymous and free chat with trained listeners

TWLOHA local resources : A list with helplines mainly from US states. But also Australia and Canada

Kati Morton - Counseling and prevention resources: Helplines across the world

Kati Morton: Mental Health Social Network

 

If you know more websites which can help, let me know.

Letter to ... that old creep in a bookstore

Dear To that creepy old man,

How dare you? How dare you to walk up to a young girl and obtrude you upon her.
Let me set the scene again: You go into an almost empty bookstore in the city center. And walk up to a girl who is sitting in an area where there is no one except a 19 year old who is standing near the opposite bookshelf with the back to you. And you ask that young girl where she lives. No, the name of the city isn't enough. ‘Where exactly are you from?’. Moreover you show a very high interest in what her favorite animal is. And miraculously like cats as well. 1.Why? 2. WTF? 3. You have a severe problem. You went silent very quickly when the mom approached. No grown man could have good intentions to ask a young girl all that.

If you had good intentions then you as an adult should have noticed the uncomfort she was in while you’ve been talking to her; being around in the first place. It’s sickening me that people like you exist. We shouldn’t have to teach girls over and over again how there are, despite many good people, a lot of harmful humans around. This is a fucked up society.

You may have not noticed me standing opposite to you but I’ve heard every bit of your conversation and you can be sure that I would have not left that child alone. To everyone: teach girls, teenagers and young adults to look out for each other because we can’t rely on adults to do that. Even in a mall with video cameras.

You disgust me.

Missing me

I miss my 8 year old me. I miss being completely myself. I miss being enough for myself.
It seems to get harder to choose for myself the more people I get to know. It has been me doing what someone else would do, too often. I lost myself. Well, partly. I think way too often about what others would do.

I want to meet me again.

I want to find out what I really like; what makes me happy and cures my boredom. I miss actually wanting to actively do something, the bike rides, and roller skate trips with my friends.

I remember sitting on the side of a road on a little hill with two of my best friends at that time, looking at the landscape and just talk. About anything. It’s been a while since I’ve done that. The road and the landscape are still the same but the three girls have changed.

I miss telling my best friend/neighbour who’s just waked me up by ringing the doorbell at 7am that I’ll meet her in 10 minutes. My mom wants that I have breakfast first.

But maybe I don’t miss that 8 year old me. I might actually miss the sense of belonging. The calls on the house phone if anyone wants to play. The knowledge that there will be fun things to do after school. I could walk over to my best friend if I’m bored and we’d find something to do. I miss being completely me and knowing where I belong. But I also miss my neighbour. She has been in my life/friend for the first 16 years, untill decisions had to be made, school and work got more important. The focus shifted. I haven’t had a proper laugh or conversation with her for 3 years. I guess it’s time to catch up again.